Answers to the FAQ of Modern Etiquette

A lot of young men today struggle in finding their footing in adulthood. They feel lost, directionless, and unsure of who they are and how to confidently and competently navigate the world. Part of the reason for this is that most young men today lack something which was once a part of nearly every culture in the world, but has now almost entirely disappeared: a rite of passage. My guest today didn’t want his son to flounder on the way to maturity, nor to miss out on having an initiation into manhood, so he set out to create a 6-year journey for him that would help him move from boy to man. His name is Jon Tyson, and he’s the author of The Intentional Father: A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage and Character. Today on the show, Jon unpacks the components of the years-long journey into manhood he created for his son, beginning with how he brainstormed those components by doing “The Day Your Son Leaves Home” exercise. We then discuss how old Jon’s son was when he started his rite of passage and why it began with him having a “severing dinner” with his mom. We get into what his rite of passage consisted of, from the kickoff ceremony to the challenges, experiences, trips, and daily rituals Jon used to impart values and teach his son the “5 Shifts of Manhood.” Jon shares how moving his son’s focus from being a good man, to being good at being a man, helped him get remotivated to continue the process, why his rite of passage included a gap year after high school, and how Jon celebrated the end of his son’s journey into becoming a man. We also discuss whether Jon did something similar with his daughter. We end our conversation with some key principles any dad can use to start intentionally helping their kids become well-rounded individuals who can confidently step out on their own and into the world. Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Article: The Importance of FathersAoM Article: The Importance of Male Rites of PassageAoM Article: Male Rites of Passage From Around the WorldAoM Article & Podcast: Man’s Need for RitualAoM Series on the origins, elements, and future of manhoodAoM Article: The 7 Habits — Begin With the End in MindAoM Article: The 3 Families Every Young Man Needs to Grow Up WellJames HollisAoM Article: Carry the FireArt of Manliness’ Carry the Fire Zippo LighterAoM Article: What Is Manliness?AoM Podcast #527 With Richard RohrThe Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact by Chip and Dan HeathThe Way of Men by Jack DonovanAoM Podcast #49 With Jack DonovanAoM Series on the Four Archetypes of the Mature MasculineAoM Article: 100 Skills Every Man Should KnowAoM Article: 80+ Quotes on Men & ManhoodConnect With Jon TysonPrimal PathJon on TwitterJon on IG See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

With the Old Breed is widely considered one of the greatest war memoirs ever written. Penned by Eugene Sledge, a Marine who fought with the 1st Division — the old breed — in the Pacific campaigns of Peleliu and Okinawa, the book is unflinching, deeply human, and so vividly written that you can practically feel the heat, mud, exhaustion, and terror coming off the page. But Sledge wasn't a professional writer. He was a biology professor who started jotting notes on scraps of paper tucked inside the New Testament he carried in his breast pocket. He wrote the book decades later, partly to process his own trauma, partly to leave a record for his sons. One of those sons is my guest today. Henry Sledge has spent years carrying his father's legacy forward, and he's written his own book — The Old Breed: The Complete Story Revealed — that pairs his father's combat experience with previously unpublished material and his own perspective as Eugene's son. Today on the show, Henry and I talk about why his dad wrote With the Old Breed, what made fighting in the Pacific uniquely hellish, and how Eugene managed to come home and live a full, honorable life despite carrying the war with him for the rest of his days. Resources Related to the PodcastChina Marine: An Infantryman's Life After World War II by E.B. SledgeHBO series The PacificKen Burns' The WarAoM Article: Eugene B. Sledge Puts Your Problems Into PerspectiveAoM Article: Are You Missing the Forbidden City?Connect With Henry SledgeHenry on IGHenry on FB Thanks to This Week's Sponsor! Take your personal data back with Incogni! Use code MANLINESS at the link below and get 60% off an annual plan: https://incogni.com/MANLINESS See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Back in 2019, David Epstein joined me to talk about his book Range and why generalists often thrive in a specialized world. Now he’s back with a new book that explores a seemingly opposite idea: the power of constraints. In Inside the Box, David argues that limits — deadlines, boundaries, and even setbacks — are often the very things that spark creativity, sharpen focus, and help us actually get meaningful work done. Today on the show, David shares how, in a world of endless freedom and options, constraints might actually be the thing you need most. He shares the surprising true story behind the creation of the periodic table, explains how a broken arm changed the course of his own life, and explores why giving people too much leeway can actually kill innovation. We discuss what Pixar did right that doomed companies like General Magic got wrong, why brainstorming sessions are usually ineffective, how to identify the bottlenecks holding back your work and life, and why learning to settle for “good enough” may be the key to getting more great things done.Resources Related to the PodcastDavid’s previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #512 — Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized WorldPixar’s Tin ToyAoM Article: Curing Your Restlessness — Limiting Your ChoicesThe Goal by Eliyahu M. GoldrattDavid’s This American Life Episode: “Something Only I Can See”AoM Article: Via Negativa — Adding to Your Life By SubtractingConnect With David EpsteinDavid’s website See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You hear a lot today about how our ample screentime is affecting our mental health. But how is it affecting our bodies, and how is that impact on our bodies affecting, well, our mental health? My guest today will unpack the ways that digital technology is sapping our vitality, and offer a simple protocol to get it back. Her name is Manoush Zomorodi, and she's the host of the TED Radio Hour and the author of Body Electric. In our conversation, Manoush explains why a day spent sitting in front of screens can leave you exhausted, even though you haven't really done anything, and how small bouts of movement throughout the day can counteract that drain and keep you feeling energized and focused. She shares how much activity you need to offset periods of being sedentary, and how to realistically incorporate these movement breaks into your routine. We also get into the specific effects digital technology is having on our eyes and ears — and what you can do to prevent the damage. Resources Related to the PodcastManoush's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #342 — Why Boredom is Good for You"I Sing the Body Electric" by Walt WhitmanKeith Diaz's studiesAoM Article: The Importance of Building Your Daily Sleep PressureConnect With Manoush ZomorodiManoush's websiteManoush on IG  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

While we often think of life as linear, my guest’s own life, along with a decade of research, has taught him that it’s anything but. In his latest book, What to Make of a Life, Jim Collins unpacks the cyclical pattern life actually unfolds in, and how to navigate it. He explains how we all go through periods of “fog” — times of disorientation and uncertainty — at least three times: in youth, after a life-changing “cliff” event, and as we move through midlife into older age. We find our way out of these fogs by what Jim calls coming into “frame” — aligning what you're built to do with what you actually do in a way that feels enlivening and meaningful. And Jim unpacks the three elements that help you find, and re-find, this frame over the course of your life. Along the way, Jim shares case studies of these principles at work, and we explore the role of luck, the inevitability of drudgery (even in work you love), and how to keep your inner fire lit over the long haul. Resources Related to the PodcastGood to Great by Jim CollinsAll Rise: The Remarkable Journey of Alan Page by Bill McGraneSelf-Renewal: The Individual and the Innovative Society by John W. GardnerSunday Firesides: You Never Know How Many Chapters Are Still to ComeSunday Firesides: Do the Right Thing, for Right NowAoM Article: The 5 Best AoM Podcast Episodes on Finding Meaning and PurposeAoM series on finding your life's vocationConnect With Jim CollinsJim's website See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.