Waffling | Social Intelligence Briefing

You think you know why you make the choices you make. Your unconscious mind may have gotten there first. AJ and Johnny sit down with psychologist Glenn to explore the hidden forces behind temptation, habits, infidelity, and self-control. Glenn explains why willpower often fails when we repeatedly face powerful urges, how unconscious processes can drive behavior without consulting our values, and why we’re surprisingly good at inventing explanations for decisions after we’ve already made them. You’ll learn why changing your environment can be more effective than relying on self-control, how past experiences shape what feels rewarding, why rationalization often happens outside our awareness, and how love, attachment, and sexual desire can operate as separate systems. The conversation also explores what causes infidelity, why people can betray partners they genuinely love, and what rebuilding trust can look like afterward. Episode Resources: https://glennhutchinson.net/my-book/ A Word From Our Sponsors Get $250 off select AirDoctor air purifiers by using promo code CHARM at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AirDoctorPro.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Shopify is where you go to start your business, and everything you need to sell is already there from day one. Start your free trial by going to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SHOPIFY.COM/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect with top talent ready to help your business grow by going to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠UPWORK.COM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Being the smartest person in the room won’t help your career if nobody remembers what you contributed when the decision gets made. AJ and Johnny break down why talented, analytical professionals often get passed over for promotions while less capable coworkers move ahead. The problem isn’t necessarily skill—it’s strategic visibility. They explain why staying quiet in the name of “authenticity” can make you invisible and why being seen doesn’t require becoming louder, fake, or overly charismatic. You’ll learn a simple three-step technique for creating “social gravity” in meetings: organize what’s on the table, identify the decision everyone is actually trying to make, and propose a clear path forward. Instead of performing for attention, you become the person who cuts through the fog—and the person leadership starts bringing into important decisions earlier. Episode Resources: ⁠⁠https://elitehumandynamics.com/theos?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=show-notes&utm_campaign=sib-episode-frame-5 Chapters 00:00 – Why the best person gets passed over02:57 – The real problem isn’t your skill04:25 – When authenticity starts holding you back07:26 – How talented people become invisible08:13 – Strategic visibility without being fake10:38 – The moment to speak up in a meeting11:01 – Three steps to frame the decision12:30 – How social gravity changes how people see you14:06 – Why strategic people get invited in earlier15:14 – Your challenge for the next meeting A Word From Our Sponsors Get $250 off select AirDoctor air purifiers by using promo code CHARM at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AirDoctorPro.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Shopify is where you go to start your business, and everything you need to sell is already there from day one. Start your free trial by going to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SHOPIFY.COM/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect with top talent ready to help your business grow by going to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠UPWORK.COM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Keywords strategic visibility, career advancement, promotions, executive presence, workplace communication, leadership, social gravity, career growth, communication skills, decision making, workplace influence, professional development, meetings, authenticity, confidence, strategic thinking, leadership skills, workplace politics, high performers, career success Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your emotions don’t just change how you feel—they can change what you remember, how you judge other people, and even who you become in the moment. AJ sits down with behavioral economist George Loewenstein to explore the “empathy gap”: our surprising inability to predict how we’ll think and behave when our emotional state changes. George explains why anger can distort judgment, rejection sensitivity becomes self-fulfilling, negative experiences outweigh positive ones, and the happiness we chase often disappears faster than we expect. You’ll learn why high performers can still choke under pressure, why venting anger often makes it worse, how emotions influence self-esteem and relationships, and why you should never respond immediately to an email that makes you furious. This conversation offers a fascinating look at the hidden forces shaping our decisions—and why understanding our emotions doesn’t always mean we can control them. Episode Resources: https://www.amazon.com/Opposite-Happiness-Feelings-Make-Break/dp/0063427060/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0 A Word From Our Sponsors Get $250 off select AirDoctor air purifiers by using promo code CHARM at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AirDoctorPro.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Shopify is where you go to start your business, and everything you need to sell is already there from day one. Start your free trial by going to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SHOPIFY.COM/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect with top talent ready to help your business grow by going to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠UPWORK.COM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Chapters 00:00 – The empathy gap: why we misjudge our own emotions08:00 – How your mood changes the way you read other people17:15 – Why one negative moment outweighs all the good24:20 – Why empathy may not work the way we think31:00 – Why we can’t predict ourselves under pressure39:05 – How emotions distort moral judgment45:00 – Why high performers still choke under pressure51:10 – Why venting anger can make it worse57:30 – Never respond to an angry email immediately01:03:00 – Negative emotions, self-compassion, and being human Keywords emotional intelligence, emotions, empathy gap, psychology, behavioral economics, emotional regulation, anger, self awareness, happiness, negative emotions, self esteem, rejection sensitivity, decision making, cognitive bias, stress, performance under pressure, relationships, emotional health, self compassion, human behavior Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Being easy to work with can quietly make you miserable—and invisible. AJ and Johnny break down the “nice tax”: the price you pay every time you agree with something you don’t actually agree with just to avoid tension. That conflict doesn’t disappear. It often comes back as resentment, anxiety, replaying conversations in your head, and a workplace reputation where nobody actually knows what you stand for. You’ll learn a simple three-part script for disagreeing without becoming defensive, aggressive, or difficult. By stating your position clearly, giving one strong reason, and staying open to being wrong, you can create healthier conflict, build professional credibility, and stop paying for fake agreement long after the meeting ends. Episode Resources: ⁠⁠https://elitehumandynamics.com/theos?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=show-notes&utm_campaign=sib-episode-frame-5 Chapters 00:00 – The hidden cost of always being nice02:20 – Why being agreeable can make you forgettable04:15 – How resentment builds when you stay quiet05:45 – The moment you agree when you really don’t06:58 – A three-part script for healthy disagreement09:10 – Small conflict now vs. anxiety later10:38 – What happens when someone pushes back11:16 – Practice speaking up without burning bridges Keywords people pleasing, workplace communication, boundaries, assertiveness, conflict resolution, communication skills, difficult conversations, resentment, anxiety, confidence, executive presence, leadership, workplace relationships, emotional regulation, professional communication, social intelligence, healthy conflict, self awareness, career growth, disagreement Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discipline gets a lot easier when you stop treating misery as proof that you’re doing it right. AJ and Johnny sit down with author and rejection expert Jia Jiang to challenge the traditional idea that success requires endless willpower, grinding, and suffering. Jia explains his approach to “easy discipline”—reducing friction, making difficult work more enjoyable, and building routines around the things that naturally give you energy. You’ll learn how to break the procrastination loop, use “repetition with variation” to avoid burnout, build momentum that makes consistency easier, and rethink failure and rejection as opportunities for creativity. Jia also shares lessons from his 100 Days of Rejection experiment and why lasting success starts with finding what moves you instead of blindly following someone else’s blueprint. Episode Resources: https://www.jiajiang.com https://www.amazon.com/Easy-Discipline-Unconventional-Achieve-Ambitious/dp/1668093588 Chapters 00:00 – Why discipline doesn’t have to feel hard06:15 – Make difficult goals easier and more enjoyable13:05 – What procrastination is trying to tell you19:15 – Removing friction from habits that don’t stick25:30 – Repetition with variation beats boring repetition32:25 – The routine that helped Jia learn English36:35 – How to build a momentum loop42:00 – Finding value when your work isn’t fun45:40 – Turning rejection and failure into opportunity49:10 – Stop following the script and find what moves you A Word From Our Sponsors Get $250 off select AirDoctor air purifiers by using promo code CHARM at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AirDoctorPro.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Shopify is where you go to start your business, and everything you need to sell is already there from day one. Start your free trial by going to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SHOPIFY.COM/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect with top talent ready to help your business grow by going to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠UPWORK.COM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Keywords discipline, procrastination, easy discipline, habits, motivation, consistency, rejection, fear of rejection, fear of failure, personal growth, self discipline, behavior change, momentum, willpower, productivity, goal setting, creativity, routines, mindset, confidence Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices