Potty Learning: How and Why to Let Children Lead the Way

A mother has questions about her three-year-old son's impulsive, dysregulated behavior and the differences in the way she and her husband are handling it. She handles these moments calmly and gently, while her husband tends to be firmer, requires the child to correct his actions, and uses language like "don't be destructive." She’s concerned that his response crosses a line from setting healthy limits into causing shame. He feels their son is more likely to act out when she’s around and is more likely to listen and behave more calmly in his company.  Janet offers her perspective on what both parents may be missing. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When your child melts down, do you freeze, give in, or reach for a distraction trick? Janet explains why trying to stop the storm only makes it worse and how your own triggers and discomfort may be driving your response. She offers advice to help us hold boundaries, encourage our kids' resilience, and create lasting calm. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A parent describes a deceptively simple disagreement with her father about her 2.5-year-old son's unwillingness to share a bowl of blueberries. This mom doesn't believe a child will develop a generous spirit or other positive character traits by being coerced, but her father's more authoritarian view differs. Janet points out the nuances of the situation, which touch on big questions about sharing, boundaries, and raising kids who genuinely want to be kind. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When a toddler plays favorites, it stings. One parent writes: "It feels as if I'm being rejected when I'm the one who's with her all day, putting so much energy into her care. It make me feel that I'm insufficient as a parent." Janet unpacks the surprising reasons behind parent preference —and the mindset that makes it stop. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A mother writes that she's been struggling with her 5-year-old daughter lately, who's been "provoking and testing boundaries on a new level." She has been especially harsh on her two-year old sibling, but when this mom and her partner step in, it inevitably leads to confrontation, tears, and hurtful words. Janet suggests an empathic approach—understanding the "why" behind this behavior -- and explains when, why, and how her approach to setting effective limits works. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices