5 Levels of Listening [Social Intelligence Brief]
14 August - 18 minsEver leave a meeting thinking it went fine… but something didn’t land? In this concise training, AJ and Johnny unpack the five levels of listening and the “conversation radar” that lets you hear what others don’t say. You’ll learn how to move beyond facts and small talk into context, what’s left unsaid, and meaning—so people feel seen, trust you faster, and want to keep the conversation going.
What to Listen For
[00:00:00] Why “it went fine” isn’t enough—introducing conversation radar
[00:00:40] High-quality listening lowers defensiveness; oxytocin & trust
[00:02:27] What years of video breakdowns revealed about real listening
[00:04:21] Five levels overview and the Oscar Trimboli inspi...
The Social Domino Effect [Social Intelligence Brief]
What if the biggest wins in your career, relationships, and social life didn’t require three separate strategies? In this episode, AJ and Johnny reveal the Social Domino Effect—how one small, high-leverage shift can cascade into success across every domain of your life. They unpack why confidence, chemistry, and connection all draw from the same meta-skills, why social capital compounds like financial capital, and how to identify your first domino. With real client stories and research in psychology and network theory, this episode shows how to stop playing three different games—and start tipping one domino that knocks them all down. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Introducing the Social Domino Effect—one shift, multiple wins [00:01:45] Client story: Spencer focused on dating—and unlocked career and social wins too [00:02:16] How positive emotions broaden options and create resource-building momentum [00:03:15] From dating coaches to life strategy: how Art of Charm expanded beyond its roots [00:05:21] The trap of treating career, romance, and social life as separate games [00:05:39] Meta-skills: why reading the room or telling stories spill across domains [00:07:34] Choosing cross-domain skills like deep listening and confident initiation [00:08:18] Why practicing in low-stakes environments tips the first domino [00:09:47] Practicing stories across contexts to strengthen them for every audience A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
12 mins
21 August Finished
Why Strengths Become Weaknesses | Martin Dubin
Executive coach and former CEO Martin Dubin joins AJ and Johnny to reveal the hidden blind spots that quietly sabotage leaders and high performers. From the Dunning–Kruger effect to the “fishbowl” and “cabana” phenomena, Marty shows how strengths overused become weaknesses, and why true growth requires identity shifts, not just behavior tweaks. Packed with practical insights, he explains why emotions are data, how leaders unintentionally communicate even when silent, and why luck often comes down to context and fit. Whether you’re climbing the ladder or running the show, Marty offers a toolkit to see yourself clearly and lead more effectively. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Defining blind spots—and why they appear during change [00:02:16] Why leaders at the top get less feedback and stagnate [00:06:15] Strengths turning into liabilities when overused [00:09:36] Identity vs. behavior: making the leap from executor to strategist [00:12:41] Emotions as data: awareness, regulation, and reading others [00:17:27] Stress, bottling up emotions, and worse decision-making [00:23:16] The “TOO” test: when confidence, decisiveness, or organization go too far [00:28:02] AJ’s technique: asking “What am I missing?” to reopen input [00:32:06] The fishbowl and cabana effects: how leaders send unspoken signals [00:36:22] Why copying billionaires fails—and how to adapt to your own context [00:41:37] Acting “as if” to prepare for your next role [00:46:42] Tools from Marty’s book Blindspotting to identify your own blind spots A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: Martin's Website BlindSpotting Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
57 mins
18 August Finished
How Modern Life Makes Us Unhappy | Bill von Hippel
Economist and researcher Bill von Hippel joins AJ and Johnny to unpack a surprising question: if modern life is safer, richer, and more comfortable than ever, why do studies suggest hunter-gatherers were happier than we are? Bill shares insights from a decade of studying the “social paradox” — the gap between our material progress and our emotional satisfaction. They explore what ancient communities had that we’ve lost, how modern conveniences can backfire on our wellbeing, and why relationships, purpose, and shared struggle might matter more than comfort and entertainment. Bill also explains how rethinking connection, gratitude, and challenge can help us reclaim the fulfillment our ancestors enjoyed. What to Listen For [00:00:16] Bill defines the “social paradox” and why it fascinated him [00:00:45] Why hunter-gatherers may have been happier despite hardship [00:02:14] The hidden downsides of modern convenience and abundance [00:04:38] How community bonds shaped happiness in ancient societies [00:07:52] The role of shared struggle in creating meaning [00:10:05] Practical ways to bring ancient principles into modern life [00:12:47] Why more comfort doesn’t always mean more joy A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: View Bill's Books on Amazon Bill's Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
1 hour 4 mins
11 August Finished
You’re Listening Wrong: Why Charisma Is About What You Feel, Not What You Say [Social Intelligence Brief]
AJ and Johnny reveal the hidden layer of charisma most people ignore—what they call “conversation radar.” It’s not about perfect lines or clever comebacks, but tuning into tone, timing, and what’s left unsaid. Drawing on client stories, dating experiments, and neuroscience, they show how this overlooked skill transforms first dates, sales calls, and even long-term relationships. They explain the two “channels” of communication—words and frequency—and why the latter is the real key to connection. You’ll learn how to spot emotional cues, read identity markers, and respond to energy instead of scripts, creating moments that make you unforgettable. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why charisma is more about listening than speaking [00:00:59] How tech is eroding our empathy and radar skills [00:02:11] The difference between Channel 1 (words) and Channel 2 (frequency) [00:02:49] Client story: From boring first dates to magnetic conversations [00:04:03] AJ’s dating experiment—ditching prep to trust his radar [00:06:15] How “listening” can fail if you ignore tone and emotion [00:07:35] The science behind theory of mind and mirror neurons [00:08:20] Why people-pleasing kills authentic connection [00:09:23] How high performers use emotional cues to close more deals [00:10:45] The real reason charm feels rare in today’s world [00:11:55] Practical cues to spot and respond to in your next conversation A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
15 mins
8 August Finished
Perception Beats Perfection | Laura Huang
Why do some people stand out and get ahead—even when they’re not the most qualified? In this episode, AJ and Johnny sit down with Harvard professor and author Laura Huang to unpack the hidden force she calls “edge”—and how anyone can create it. Laura shares how to turn bias into opportunity, why adversity can actually be an advantage, and what successful people do differently when it comes to perception and presence. With insights from years of research and personal experience, she reveals how to sharpen your signals, own your story, and make others believe in your value before you even speak. If you’ve ever felt overlooked or underestimated, this episode gives you the roadmap to flip the script. What to Listen For [00:00:00] What is “edge” and why it matters more than credentials [00:02:45] How Laura’s own story shaped her research [00:05:29] The real difference between hustle and strategic effort [00:08:17] Why perceptions matter more than you think [00:11:06] How to reframe bias as a tool, not a limitation [00:14:22] Turning stereotypes into signals of strength [00:17:38] What successful people do to make others believe in them [00:21:05] The four components of creating your edge [00:24:46] Laura’s advice for standing out in competitive environments [00:27:12] How to own your narrative and signal confidence A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: Laura Huang's Website EDGE Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
1 hour 12 mins
4 August Finished