Triggered Again: Understanding Our Reactions to Kids' Behaviors (With Elisabeth Corey)

No matter how we approach raising our children, there are times we'll feel physically, mentally, or emotionally exhausted. Maybe all of the above. We’re only human, of course, but it may also be that we're taking on more than we need to --- depleting our energy with roles and tasks that are better left to our child. In this encore episode, Janet offers ideas for lightening our workload by recognizing and trusting our children's intrinsic abilities. Janet's job description reframe can help save our energy, nurture self-confidence, and at the same time foster a flourishing parent-child relationship.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠ and ⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠. Her best-selling books ⁠“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”⁠ and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available wherever books are sold. Please Support Our Sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's common for young children to go through phases of unwarranted aggression, usually directed at the ones they love most. Janet has noted that these phases are as uncomfortable for our children as it they are for us, and probably even more so. In this episode, she responds to two parents of kids who are behaving erratically and lashing out at their siblings. Both families have attempted to address these behaviors with empathy, respect, and boundaries, but they aren't seeing results. The frustrated parents admit they've sometimes reacted with threats, punishments, or shaming. Nothing seems to work. Janet offers advice that she believes will address both of these children's internal discomfort and, therefore, ease their aggressive behavior.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is at: ⁠⁠⁠nobadkidscourse.com⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You've no doubt heard by now about the countless benefits of our children's self-directed play. Less understood is how to nurture this invaluable instinct in our babies—every child has it. With our good intentions, though, we sometimes get in the way of play. Perhaps we intervene and unnecessarily interrupt our children's process. Or, as our kids get older, we let structured activities and excursions usurp the time they might have preferred to spend exploring, experimenting, following their own interests, and creating activities—doing what may look like "less" on the outside, but gaining profound benefits. In this episode, Janet shares  letters from parents who describe eye-opening experiences that caused them to recognize the importance of allowing their children—who are from 3 months old to 3 years old—to play their own way, and how the simple act of not intervening brought them joy and a new understanding of their child and the value of play.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is at: ⁠⁠nobadkidscourse.com⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We all hope to raise polite, well-behaved kids who follow rules and comply with requests, assuming these are fair, just, and appropriate. We want our kids to not only respect us but other authority figures in their lives. Yet, many of us shy away from the term "obedience," because it connotes using discipline methods that are overly strict, harsh, and authoritarian. It doesn't need to be that way. In this episode, Janet responds to a parent who feels like she needs more obedience from her almost 4-year-old. She's wondering if she's wrong to want that, even though obedience was what was expected of her as a child. Janet explains that this parent's needs are not only valid but achievable through Janet's relationship-centered approach. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is at: ⁠nobadkidscourse.com⁠. Please support our sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The root causes for our children's behaviors—especially the behaviors that most alarm and confuse us—are often confusing and complex. Sometimes, try as we might to understand and even reason with our child, the behavior only gets worse. But these behaviors may be simpler to address than we might imagine. All we need to do is recognize the intense focus that we are bringing to these behaviors and where that might coming from— often our own childhood experiences.   Janet responds to two parents who have become exasperated trying to reroute their kids' behaviors. One feels her kids constantly tune her out, leaving her feeling "disconnected and invisible." The second parent is alarmed by her son's recent interest in weaponry and some disturbingly violent threats he's been making. In both cases, the more these parents lean into their kids with words and reason, the more extreme the behavior becomes. Janet finds a clue in both stories that may be keeping these relationships stuck Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is at: ⁠nobadkidscourse.com⁠. Please support our sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices