I Don’t Trust A.I. But I Told it Everything

Jenny Singer thought she had a lung fungus. That would explain the shortness of breath that she was experiencing. The doctor’s other explanation was anxiety, which seemed completely out of the question to her. But as time went on, Jenny found herself increasingly focused on her “breathing problem,” as she called it, in a way that made it nearly impossible to connect with anyone. Eventually, Singer realized she didn’t have a lung fungus. She admitted to herself that she felt anxious and concluded that she wasn’t cut out for the kind of romantic connection she desired. Then, she met someone she absolutely did not want a romantic connection with, and hanging out with him felt great. Suddenly, she no longer felt anxious. It was exactly what she needed. This week on the “Modern Love” podcast, Singer explains how anxiety interfered in her love life, and what it took to find the kind of relationship she always wanted.

Sam Graham-Felsen never imagined being lonely. Throughout his childhood and as a young man his life revolved around his friends. But when Sam got married and then had kids, going out with his friends almost felt like a luxury. After years of focusing on everything in his life except friendship, Sam began to realize he was missing something essential, and he decided to get his friends back. On this episode of “Modern Love,” Mr. Graham-Felsen describes how he went from being a boy with a wealth of deep friendships to finding himself feeling lonely as an adult, and what he did to bring friendship back into his life. Read his essay “Where Have All My Deep Male Friendships Gone?” in The New York Times Magazine.

Elisabeth “Eli” Sheff is a polyamory expert. When she first heard about polyamorous relationships, back in the early ’90s, hardly anyone was talking about this stuff. But Sheff became fascinated, and for the past 30 years, she’s been studying the lives of kids who grew up in polyamorous families. On this episode of “Modern Love,” Sheff tells the host Anna Martin about her personal and professional findings from decades of being immersed in polyamorous spaces. Plus, she has advice for people who are trying to figure out if being poly is right for them.

At the age of 15, the filmmaker and actor Kyla Harris had an accident that forever changed what her body could do, and what it couldn’t. From then on, she needed someone with her 24 hours a day to help her with things like going to the bathroom, cooking and showering. Family members, friends, romantic partners and personal assistants have all played a role in Kyla’s care over the years. She’s had to learn to communicate, in exceptionally clear terms, how her body feels and what it needs, at any hour of the day or night. Kyla is a creator and the star of the BBC TV show “We Might Regret This,” and her character, Freya, has the same disability that Kyla does. While the show depicts a fictional world, its complex web of remarkably close, interdependent relationships is, in part, inspired by Kyla’s life. In this episode of “Modern Love,” Kyla tells Anna Martin what it’s been like to approach every want and need as a group project. This dynamic becomes especially interesting when it comes to Kyla’s thriving sex life, from dance-floor makeouts to long-term partnerships. Kyla discusses getting creative with her body — and the occasional prop — and takes a deep dive into what intimacy can really mean. How to submit a Modern Love Essay: https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html How to submit a Tiny Love Story: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html

The comedian and actor says class and the way she grew up inform everything about the way she lives now.