Chris Appleton - ‘I Felt Shame Before I Felt Love’

I never thought I would have to write these words, but here we are. In the wake of my dear friend’s passing, I wanted to reflect on the life of one of the most radiant people I’ve ever met: Mel Schilling. I never quite understood the truth of the phrase ‘she lights up a room’ until I met Mel. It wasn’t just the sparkling smile or the sequins she loved wearing or the glittery eyeshadow; it was deeper than that: she wanted others to shine, to feel special and to be loved. To believe themselves worthy of love. To be in Mel’s company was to feel anything was possible.  I wanted to re-release this very special episode of How to Fail because it shows so much of the woman she was. It was also the first time I met Mel in person after admiring her for years from afar on our TV screens. I’m so lucky to have known her. Please enjoy getting to know my friend Mel. And if you want to hear more of her extraordinary insights and wisdom, you can listen to her on How To Date [link here: swap.fm/l/92EWhbCOZtcpVjwW1ZhD].  👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com  How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.   Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] _________________________________________________________________________ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Starting over can feel heartbreaking and overwhelming, especially after losing a loved one, and the idea of rebuilding a life can seem impossible. In this episode, Stanley and Geri show us that sometimes moving forward isn’t about letting go of the past, but learning to carry it with you in a way that allows life to continue. Stanley Tucci speaks with brave honesty about the death of his first wife, Kate – the guilt he felt as he tried to move on and the difficult choices he faced while creating a new life for his children. Geri Halliwell Horner reflects on losing her father as a teenager, how that loss shaped her ambition and how writing her novel unexpectedly helped her make sense of long‑held grief. This episode explores love, loss and the resilience that allows us to keep going after such events. I hope it brings you a sense of solidarity or confirmation that we don’t need to erase what came before; sometimes, it becomes the very force that helps us begin again. Listen to Stanley’s full episode of How to Fail here: http://swap.fm/l/WCW054IGNZnSnTzEXPTN Listen to Geri’s full episode of How to Fail here: swap.fm/l/a7i32bvmHld3JFuDmShl 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Bereavement support: https://www.cruse.org.uk/ Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @howtofailpod @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod @elizabday Website: www.elizabethday.org Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Natasha Hamilton was 16 when she signed a record deal with the girl band, Atomic Kitten. The group went on to sell over 10 million records and achieve three UK Number One singles including Whole Again and The Tide Is High. But the pressures of fame affected her mental health and made her feel isolated and judged. After five years and the birth of her first son, Hamilton quit the band. Today, Hamilton tells that story - the one that existed behind the headlines. We talk about the toxicity of 90s and early Y2K media, surviving postnatal depression and financial catastrophe after divorce. Plus we talk about why she set up her own record label, Morpho, to focus on nurturing and empowering young talent rather than - as she puts it - ‘moulding them into a product’. An amazing woman whose resilience should be an inspiration to us all! Natasha Hamilton’s new single Fantasy is out now. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Introduction 03:15 Forties And Clarity 04:47 Writing Numb 06:03 Morpho Records And Duty Of Care 08:11 Bullied But Born To Sing 14:13 Fame Tabloids And Numbness 21:40 Whole Again And Industry Bias 29:37 Making Peace With The Band 31:17 Rebuilding Sisterhood Again 31:37 Losing Pop Star Identity 32:43 Shock Pregnancy And Isolation 35:17 Postnatal Breakdown And Help 38:12 CBT And Taking Control 40:40 New Career In Beauty 46:00 Divorce Money Chaos And Recovery 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: From the age of 16 I was constantly told who to be: what to do, how to look, how to act - I’d never been given the reins of my own life before. There is no wrong decision, if it works it works. I thought: everyone’s judging me for not being thin enough. Fame was so isolating. If you’re struggling - talk to someone. It’s incredible what can happen when you back yourself. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Natasha Hamilton’s new single, Numb, is out now If you need someone to talk to, the Samaritans are available 24 hours a day: www.samaritans.org or call on 116 123 Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com 📚 WANT MORE? Vicky Pattison - on Geordie Shore, self-worth, PMDD and family addiction: swap.fm/l/kUiBIHEkL1y3C9moLdsx Louise Thompson - on how severe trauma after childbirth, chronic illness and the loss of her former identity forced her to rebuild her life with self-compassion: swap.fm/l/LouiseThompson 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Natasha answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] _________________________________________________________________________ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Motherhood is often portrayed purely as a joyful, magical chapter of life – and while it certainly can be – we rarely speak openly about the hard, exhausting and deeply challenging truths. In this episode, singer‑songwriter Jessie Ware reflects on becoming a parent while building a career in the public eye. She talks about the pressure she felt to prove she could do everything at once, the exhaustion that followed and the grounding process of learning to be present rather than perfect. We also hear from novelist Francesca Segal, who shares the story of her twins’ premature birth and the unexpected reality of early motherhood inside a neonatal ward. She describes the chasm between the idealised story of birth and the lived experience many mothers face. I hope this episode brings comfort to anyone navigating the complexities of motherhood. May it remind you that every journey is different, that there is no single right way to parent and that you are never alone in this experience. Listen to Jessie’s full episode of How to Fail here: http://swap.fm/l/8cUuwGs4vc7tAXiPcDab Listen to Francesca’s full episode of How to Fail here: swap.fm/l/MsPtRFvgP8z18GLPgpdL 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Maternal Support: https://maternalmentalhealthalliance.org/ https://mothersformothers.co.uk/ Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @howtofailpod @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod @elizabday Website: www.elizabethday.org Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Rosamund Pike! What a woman. Famed for her portrayals of razor-sharp, morally complex and deliciously unpredictable characters, she brings that same intriguing duality to this conversation. Thoughtful and quietly rebellious, she reflects on a career that has defied neat narratives from the very beginning. After taking a year out from studying English at University of Oxford to pursue acting, she graduated and stepped straight into the global spotlight as Bond girl Miranda Frost in Die Another Day. From there came a string of unforgettable movies: Pride & Prejudice, Jack Reacher, A Private War and Saltburn. Her chilling performance in Gone Girl earned her an Oscar nomination and she took home a Golden Globe for I Care a Lot. In 2025, she returned to the stage for the first time in 15 years in the National Theatre’s production of Inter Alia. In this episode, she talks about her ‘failure’ to get married, the realities of raising two sons and her decision not to read a single review of her work for the past 25 years. Plus why she’s ‘constantly in battle’ with her own fear, her failure to be an action movie hero, her miserable attempt to cook a rabbit and whether or not she’s ‘cool’. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Intro 03:18 No reviews rule 06:57 Early perfectionism and stage craft 07:58 Inter Alia and modern womanhood 10:09 Luminate meditation mask 12:42 Failure to learn Chinese 19:09 Onstage mishaps and acting roles 28:59 What Cool Really Means 29:26 Cool Girl vs Amy 32:21 Failing at Being An Action Star 36:52 Failure to Get Married 45:17 Mothering Two Boys 47:28 Smells and Teen Hygiene 48:44 Rabbit Dinner and Being Enough 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: Failure is usually pretending to be someone you’re not. I don’t think you ever regret having a big love affair - even if goes to shit. I’m quite a coward. I like to play brave people because I’m not. I’m constantly in battle with my own fear. Cool means that you can go your own way. You don't give too many, f***s... you can think originally. I didn’t want to be the sex symbol. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Inter Alia is on at the Wyndham’s Theatre: 19 March - 20 June 2026 Rosamund’s Meditation App is: www.lumenate.co Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com 📚 WANT MORE? Glennon Doyle - on wildness, the end of people-pleasing and why we can all do hard things swap.fm/l/Nd3ZzVy73FXUMupJ4i1q Phoebe Waller Bridge - on creative control, perfectionism and the fear of being misunderstood swap.fm/l/gTCOCJUmXX9t22mTABSa 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Rosamund answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] _________________________________________________________________________ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices