The Paradox of Pleasure

Many of us have been raised to believe that if we want to get something done, we just need to set our minds to it. Where there's a will, there's a way, right? Yet somehow we end up polishing off that pint of ice cream in the freezer, or spending more than our budget allows. It's almost as if we're not the ones in charge. This week, we talk with psychologist and neuroscientist Emily Falk about why our minds often conspire against our best interests, and how we can regain control.

Perfectionism is everyone’s favorite flaw. It’s easy to assume that our push to be perfect is what leads to academic, athletic, and professional success. But how do we distinguish between high standards and unrealistic expectations? This week, we bring you a favorite conversation with psychologist Thomas Curran. He says perfectionism has a dark side, and that there are much healthier ways to strive for excellence. Then, we bring you the latest edition of our segment "Your Questions Answered." Sociologist Allison Pugh returns to the show to respond to listener questions about connective labor — the work of seeing another person, and having that person feel seen.

When tragedy strikes, it’s natural to be devastated. But psychologist George Bonanno finds that many of us recover from life’s blows more quickly than we might expect. This week, we talk with Bonanno about his research and why it has changed how many scientists think about trauma and resilience.

Have you ever fallen asleep in school or during a work meeting? Maybe you felt your eyes glaze over as your boss or a teacher droned on and on about a topic that had no relevance to you. What's missing from these classrooms and conference rooms is engagement: A state of being absorbed, alert, and eager to learn. This week, psychologist and neuroscientist Mary Helen Immordino-Yang explores why so many of us feel apathetic at school and at work, and how to cultivate the magic of engagement.

Aging isn’t just a biological process. Our outlooks and emotions also change as we age, often in ways that boost our well-being. This week, we revisit a favorite conversation with psychologist Laura Carstensen, who helps us unpack the science behind this surprising finding, and shares what all of us can learn from older people. Then, as part of our ongoing series "Your Questions Answered," we revisit our follow-up chat with Laura, who responds to listeners' thoughts and questions and shares more of her research on what it means to live well as we age.