#880: Relationship Tools That Work — Esther Perel, Brené Brown, Dr. Sue Johnson, Terry Real, and More on Conflict, Repair, and Lasting Love

This is a special episode about overcoming mistakes and failure. What do you do when your work is rejected, when the big bet fails, or when the path ahead suddenly disappears? As you’ll hear in this episode, setbacks can often present opportunities, if you know how to look for them.This episode is brought to you by:Helix Sleep premium mattresses: HelixSleep.com/Tim (20% off any purchase)Gusto simple and easy payroll, HR, and benefits platform used by 400,000+ businesses: Gusto.com/TimIncogni, which removes your personal data from the web, helping shield you from fraud, scams, and identity theft: Incogni.com/Tim (use code TIM at checkout and get 60% off an annual plan)In this episode: BJ Miller, a triple amputee, on his years-long quest to ride a motorcycle.Terry Crews on missing a season-ending shot—and the mindset shift that stayed with him for life.Tim McGraw on his debut album flopping and betting his career on next steps.Jessica Lahey on being told her first book was “unpublishable” and turning brutal feedback into a New York Times bestseller.Dax Shepard on the collapse of an identity and career he thought he wanted—and the unexpected much better life it made possible.Cathy Lanier on becoming a teenage single mother, passing her GED by a single point, and beginning an unlikely climb.Janna Levin on the liberating realization that life is not a smooth path interrupted by obstacles—life is the obstacles.Boyd Varty on using the mindset of a lion tracker to move through uncertainty and the paralysis of not knowing what comes next.Dr. BJ Miller is a triple amputee, longtime palliative-care physician, cofounder of virtual palliative-care service Mettle Health, and coauthor of A Beginner’s Guide to the End.Terry Crews is an actor, artist, author, television host, and former NFL player best known as Terry Jeffords on the Emmy-nominated TV series Brooklyn Nine-Nine and as the longtime host of America’s Got Talent.Tim McGraw is a three-time Grammy-winning country-music superstar, an actor, and a 2026 Country Music Hall of Fame inductee.Jessica Lahey is an educator and the New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Failure and The Addiction Inoculation.Dax Shepard is an actor, writer, and director and the co-creator and host of the hit podcast Armchair Expert.Cathy Lanier is the NFL’s chief security officer and the first woman—and longest serving chief—to lead Washington, DC’s Metropolitan Police Department.Janna Levin is a theoretical cosmologist, the Claire Tow Professor of Physics and Astronomy at Barnard College, a Guggenheim Fellow, a PEN-winning author, and the founding director of sciences at Pioneer Works.Boyd Varty is a lion tracker, wildlife activist, TED speaker, and author of The Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life.Timestamps:00:00 — Introduction from Tim01:23 — BJ Miller: Making an Impossible Motorcycle Dream Real05:35 — Terry Crews: Why You Have to Take the Shot16:28 — Tim McGraw: Failing on Your Own Terms27:31 — Jessica Lahey: From “Unpublishable” to Bestseller31:48 — Dax Shepard: When Failure Saves You From What You Want38:11 — Cathy Lanier: Rebuilding a Life47:33 — Janna Levin: Life Is the Obstacles54:36 — Boyd Varty: Finding the Next Track When You’re Stuck*For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.For deals from sponsors of The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast-sponsorsSign up for Tim’s email newsletter (5-Bullet Friday) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim’s books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissYouTube: youtube.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/timferriss See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a special compilation devoted to reinvention: how to shed an identity that no longer fits, decide on a new chapter, navigate uncertainty, and commit to what’s next.This episode is brought to you by:Shopify global commerce platform, providing tools to start, grow, market, and manage a retail businessMomentous high-quality creatine for cognitive and muscular supportIn this episode: Matthew McConaughey explains why he stopped making romantic comedies, turned down $15 million, and waited nearly two years for Hollywood to see him differently.Steve Young talks about losing the identity that had defined him and the advice another legendary quarterback gave him.Lori Gottlieb explains how listening to a quiet inner voice led her from Hollywood to medicine, then to journalism, and finally to psychotherapy.Suleika Jaouad describes rebuilding her life after cancer when going back to her old life was no longer possible.Samin Nosrat on walking away from a wildly successful food business that was making her miserable, and making room for the writing career that ultimately became Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat.Martine Rothblatt tells the remarkable story of teaching herself biology and starting a pharmaceutical company to save her daughter’s life.Finally, Debbie Millman gives you a simple exercise for imagining—and creating—the life you truly want.Timestamps:00:00 Intro from Tim01:43 Matthew McConaughey14:35 Steve Young17:16 Lori Gottlieb24:38 Suleika Jaouad36:47 Samin Nosrat45:04 Martine Rothblatt56:51 Debbie MillmanShort bios: Matthew McConaughey is an Academy Award-winning actor—whose career spans 40+ feature films—a cofounder of the Just Keep Livin’ foundation, and the bestselling author of Greenlights.Steve Young is a Pro Football Hall of Fame quarterback, Super Bowl MVP, and co-founder and chairman of private-equity firm HGGC.Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist, the New York Times “Ask the Therapist” advice columnist, and the bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.Suleika Jaouad is an Emmy Award-winning journalist, artist, and bestselling author of Between Two Kingdoms and The Book of Alchemy.Samin Nosrat is the James Beard Award–winning author of the New York Times bestseller Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat—also the title of her acclaimed Netflix series.Dr. Martine Rothblatt is the founder, chairperson, and CEO of United Therapeutics—a biotechnology company she started to save the life of one of her daughters—and a pioneer of satellite radio.Debbie Millman is one of the most influential designers working today, according to Graphic Design USA, an author, an educator, and the host of the pioneering podcast Design Matters, now celebrating its 21st year.*For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.For deals from sponsors of The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast-sponsorsSign up for Tim’s email newsletter (5-Bullet Friday) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim’s books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissYouTube: youtube.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/timferriss See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a special compilation devoted to a subject very close to my heart and currently consuming a large percentage of my waking hours: writing. Over the years, I’ve asked some of the writers I admire most questions like: How do you choose a project and stay with it? How do you begin when inspiration refuses to show up? How do you build a practice that reliably produces pages? And how do you keep going when you fear your pages are terrible? Listen in to some of my favorite authors answer these and other questions. Please enjoy this special compilation on the craft of writing.This episode is brought to you by:ProLon science-backed Fasting Mimicking Diet that helps activate cellular renewal through fasting, while still eating nourishing mealsAG1 all-in-one nutritional supplementTimestamps:00:00 — Introduction01:52 — Elizabeth Gilbert: Choosing and committing to a project06:25 — Anne Lamott: Shitty first drafts and taking it bird by bird13:04 — Joyce Carol Oates: Don’t wait for inspiration15:47 — Jerry Seinfeld: Building a writing system26:27 — Mary Karr: Revision and throwing out 1,200 pages35:08 — Brandon Sanderson: Consistency, word counts, and output45:04 — Seth Godin: Fear of bad writingElizabeth Gilbert is the author of Eat, Pray, Love; Big Magic; and City of Girls. Her ten books have sold more than 25 million copies worldwide. Anne Lamott is the author of 20 books, including Bird by Bird, Operating Instructions, and Help, Thanks, Wow, and co-author—with her husband Neal Allen—of Good Writing.Joyce Carol Oates has written more than 70 books, including Blonde and We Were the Mulvaneys, and won the National Book Award for her novel them.Jerry Seinfeld co-created and starred in the sitcom Seinfeld—which ran nine seasons and won 10 Emmys—and later created Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee and wrote Is This Anything? Mary Karr wrote the bestselling memoirs The Liars’ Club, Cherry, and Lit and her book on writing, The Art of Memoir. Brandon Sanderson created the Mistborn and Stormlight Archive series, completed Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time, and raised more than $41 million on Kickstarter for four secret novels. Seth Godin has written 21 bestsellers published in 40 languages—including Purple Cow, Linchpin, and The Practice—and a daily blog of more than 10,000 posts. *For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.For deals from sponsors of The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast-sponsorsSign up for Tim’s email newsletter (5-Bullet Friday) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim’s books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissYouTube: youtube.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/timferriss See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this wide-ranging Q&A, Tim explores reinvention, enduring skills for the age of AI, friendship, mental health, fitness, language learning, privacy, cognitive longevity, and more.This episode is brought to you by:Gusto simple and easy payroll, HR, and benefits platform used by 400,000+ businesses: Gusto.com/TimMomentous high-quality creatine for cognitive and muscular support: LiveMomentous.com/TimHelix Sleep premium mattresses: HelixSleep.com/TimWealthfront high-yield cash account: Wealthfront.com/TimNew clients get 3.30% base APY from program banks + additional 0.75% boost for 3 months on your uninvested cash (max $150k balance). Terms and conditions apply. The Cash Account offered by Wealthfront Brokerage LLC (“WFB”) member FINRA/SIPC, not a bank. The base APY as of 1/30/26 is representative, can change, and requires no minimum. Tim Ferriss, a non-client, receives compensation from WFB for advertising and holds a non-controlling equity interest in the corporate parent of WFB, which creates a conflict of interest. Individual experiences and outcomes will differ. Instant withdrawals may be limited by your receiving firm and other factors. Investment advisory services provided by Wealthfront Advisers LLC, an SEC-registered investment adviser. Securities investments: not bank deposits, not bank-guaranteed or FDIC-insured, and may lose value.Timestamps:[00:00:00] Start.[00:00:24] How to go from hyper-optimized to grounded.[00:03:45] Reinvention in your late 40s: there are more than two options.[00:07:45] Five meta-skills for the age of AI.[00:16:06] Post-sabbatical rules that re-focused this podcast.[00:21:05] Why male friendship is built shoulder-to-shoulder, not face-to-face.[00:25:04] Love for women authors.[00:25:24] SAINT, TMS, and Ampa’s one-day brain reset.[00:27:32] How to build a fanbase by being your authentically weird self.[00:28:50] My “something is better than nothing” workout routine.[00:30:33] Staying fit in mind and soul via the past-year review.[00:31:12] The 4-Hour Body workout routines I still follow.[00:35:46] Spotting the future titan hiding in an average teen.[00:37:01] Vacation, burnout, or an outgrown life? Take a mini-retirement.[00:41:18] Guiding kids through our digital dystopia.[00:43:45] Does AI kill language learning? What does a new language really give you?[00:53:36] Muted movies as late-night writing company.[00:54:13] Best sub-$100 buy: seven seasons of wholesome Pawnee.[00:55:34] Why two hours of walking fixes almost everything.[00:57:21] Sleep, unsexily solved: less water, more sun, more exhaustion.[00:59:16] Privacy as the new luxury in the age of shrinking fame.[01:02:35] Luxuries worth overspending on: massage, easy travel, and health.[01:07:24] The best defense against cognitive decline: exercise, exercise, exercise.[01:11:11] Parting thoughts.*For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.For deals from sponsors of The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast-sponsorsSign up for Tim’s email newsletter (5-Bullet Friday) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim’s books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissYouTube: youtube.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/timferriss See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Andrew Huberman, Ph.D., is a neuroscientist and tenured professor in the Departments of Neurobiology and Ophthalmology at Stanford University School of Medicine, where he runs the Huberman Lab. He is the author of Protocols: An Operating Manual for the Human Body.This episode is brought to you by:ProLon science-backed Fasting Mimicking Diet that helps activate cellular renewal through fasting, while still eating nourishing mealsEight Sleep Pod Cover 5 sleeping solution for dynamic cooling and heatingMomentous high-quality creatine for cognitive and muscular supportHelix Sleep premium mattressesTimestamps:00:00:00 — Who is Dr. Andrew Huberman?00:02:03 — Dean Potter, The Dark Wizard, and the physics of raw energy.00:04:11 — Why competition destroys performance.00:05:45 — Laird Hamilton, tow-in surfing, and the lure of big waves.00:06:27 — Training with Dorian Yates.00:18:29 — The full weekly split that keeps building strength at 50.00:21:00 — Neck training.00:25:56 — AssaultBike vs. Airdyne.00:31:12 — Revisiting MDMA and psychedelics.00:48:06 — Inducing plasticity is only half the job.00:53:17 — The one-day protocol that cut my anxiety by 90%.01:00:27 — Cortisol as the master key.01:03:26 — Peptides demystified: GLP-1s, growth hormone, and BPC-157.01:14:44 — The Enhanced Games, the Deca burrito, and the honesty problem.01:17:56 — Pinealon, epitalon, and the hunt for more REM sleep.01:25:02 — Why women, not gym bros, are the real peptide market.01:35:52 — Why "no reported side effects" is a trap.01:43:48 — Stem cells, cartilage regrowth, and mining the body for medicine.01:46:37 — AI, wearables, and the race to write to the nervous system.01:54:12 — The MIT mask that puts you to sleep in six minutes.01:56:09 — Inside Andrew's new operating manual, Protocols.02:03:30 — Navigating grief and remapping loss.02:04:40 — Shut up, suit up, show up.02:08:03 — Parting thoughts.*For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.For deals from sponsors of The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast-sponsorsSign up for Tim’s email newsletter (5-Bullet Friday) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim’s books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissYouTube: youtube.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/timferriss See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.