Parenting Problems Our Childhoods Create (and How to Fix Them)

It's common for young children to go through phases of unwarranted aggression, usually directed at the ones they love most. Janet has noted that these phases are as uncomfortable for our children as it they are for us, and probably even more so. In this episode, she responds to two parents of kids who are behaving erratically and lashing out at their siblings. Both families have attempted to address these behaviors with empathy, respect, and boundaries, but they aren't seeing results. The frustrated parents admit they've sometimes reacted with threats, punishments, or shaming. Nothing seems to work. Janet offers advice that she believes will address both of these children's internal discomfort and, therefore, ease their aggressive behavior.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is at: ⁠⁠⁠nobadkidscourse.com⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You've no doubt heard by now about the countless benefits of our children's self-directed play. Less understood is how to nurture this invaluable instinct in our babies—every child has it. With our good intentions, though, we sometimes get in the way of play. Perhaps we intervene and unnecessarily interrupt our children's process. Or, as our kids get older, we let structured activities and excursions usurp the time they might have preferred to spend exploring, experimenting, following their own interests, and creating activities—doing what may look like "less" on the outside, but gaining profound benefits. In this episode, Janet shares  letters from parents who describe eye-opening experiences that caused them to recognize the importance of allowing their children—who are from 3 months old to 3 years old—to play their own way, and how the simple act of not intervening brought them joy and a new understanding of their child and the value of play.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is at: ⁠⁠nobadkidscourse.com⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We all hope to raise polite, well-behaved kids who follow rules and comply with requests, assuming these are fair, just, and appropriate. We want our kids to not only respect us but other authority figures in their lives. Yet, many of us shy away from the term "obedience," because it connotes using discipline methods that are overly strict, harsh, and authoritarian. It doesn't need to be that way. In this episode, Janet responds to a parent who feels like she needs more obedience from her almost 4-year-old. She's wondering if she's wrong to want that, even though obedience was what was expected of her as a child. Janet explains that this parent's needs are not only valid but achievable through Janet's relationship-centered approach. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is at: ⁠nobadkidscourse.com⁠. Please support our sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As parents, we're naturally protective of our kids' feelings and sensibilities, but as they mature and venture out socially, it's also our job to give them the tools they need to thrive in a variety of settings and with people who have differing views and engagement styles. Our kids need to learn to respect and adapt to every person's boundaries—not just ours, but those of their peers, teachers, caregivers, relatives. Then, when our child finds herself in a new situation confronted by a different norm, which is inevitable, they (and we) can perceive this as a positive learning experience and approach it with confidence.  In short, how can we best prepare our kids to adjust to life's realities? Janet explains how respectful parenting is geared to do exactly this. She illustrates by responding to two different families whose kids are having difficulty accepting other people's boundaries. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is at: nobadkidscourse.com. Please support our sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transitions tend to be difficult for young children, and they express their struggles in a variety of concerning ways. They may be focused to distraction on particular random-seeming anxieties and fears. Worse, they take their feelings out on us by being uncooperative or lashing out in violent meltdowns. Two families reach out to Janet with these issues, and she proposes a three-step approach to help resolve them. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is at: NoBadKidsCourse.com Please support our sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices