The F-Word Miniseries: Gabor Maté on Feelings

A few years ago, Shabaz Ali was a chemistry teacher in Blackburn. Today, he’s one of the internet’s most beloved creators, best known as Shabaz Says, with millions of fans and a knack for skewering the most outrageous (and often tasteless) displays of online excess. Since quitting the day job, Shabaz has launched a podcast, performed at the Edinburgh Fringe and published his book I’m Rich, You’re Poor. Beneath the humour though, there’s always been something more serious at play: a sharp commentary on the psychological erosion that comes from spending too much of our lives online. In this episode, we talk about Shabaz’s upbringing, being bullied at school, how his taxi-driver Dad didn’t even realise his son was famous until recently and why no-one should ever spend £10,000 on an outfit. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Introduction 03:03 The Impact of Social Media on Youth 05:14 Navigating Imposter Syndrome and Success 10:53 Embracing Authenticity and Overcoming Criticism 12:46 Growing Up in Blackburn 15:45 Challenges of Intersectional Identity 22:36 Family Perspectives and Cultural Expectations 24:04 Struggles with Poverty 25:20 Empathy 30:15 From Teacher to Social Media Star 31:24 Unexpected Career in the Hospital Morgue 33:38 Finding Viral Success Online 37:16 Representation and Finding Your Voice 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: You can be a man and still speak up for women's rights. You don't have to be a black person to speak up for black people. You don't have to be trans to speak up for trans rights. How you present yourself is always how the world's going to treat you. [Death] definitely gave me an appreciation for life. It gave me appreciation for human beings... I have so much love to give for humanity. I don’t care if I’m palatable for you. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Shabaz’s book, I'm Rich, You're Poor - is out now Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 📚 WANT MORE? John Bishop - on how insecurity, self-doubt and feeling like an outsider shaped both his comedy and his life. Plus: almost getting divorced but then changing his mind swap.fm/l/wRGKwuonJFQoujFlmDHI Celeste Barber - on using humour to challenge impossible beauty standards, early struggles with rejection and how embracing authenticity changed her life swap.fm/l/qLmwfjyeSolWuFeaHGdt 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Shabaz answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week we’re revisiting two deeply moving conversations that explore what it means to find hope in the face of profound adversity. First, we hear from the 11-time world champion and a six-time Olympic champion, Sir Chris Hoy. He speaks with remarkable honesty about living with stage four prostate cancer, as well as the shock of discovering that his wife had been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis during the same period. He talks about finding hope, and appreciating the small things in life. Then we hear from the legendary British children’s author, Michael Rosen, who reflects on the devastating loss of his son, Eddie, who died at the age of 18. He explains how talking about him now is in fact a relief. These stories speak to resilience, love and the ways hope can survive even in the hardest of circumstances. Whether you are personally affected, or know of someone going through a tough time at the moment, I hope these conversations offer comfort and a fresh perspective. Listen to Sir Chris Hoy’s full episode of How to Fail here: swap.fm/l/vkdUVszJnMghYNMSLFdO Listen to Michael Rosen’s full episode of How to Fail here: swap.fm/l/3lr5HOsDIw6hgOnD7vgc 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Cancer Support UK: www.cancersupportuk.org Bereavement Support: www.cruse.org.uk Mental Health Support: www.samaritans.org and www.mind.org.uk Elizabeth’s Substack: theelizabethday.substack.com Join the How To Fail community: howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @howtofailpod @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod @elizabday Website: www.elizabethday.org Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Best known for her role as Queen Charlotte in Bridgerton, Golda Rosheuvel is an acclaimed actor of stage and screen. Her career spans powerful theatrical roles including Romeo and Juliet, Jesus Christ Superstar and a groundbreaking lesbian interpretation of Othello. She also stars in the spin-off series Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story. In this conversation, Golda speaks movingly about her childhood and family: how her mother, a white social worker, met her father, a Guyanese Anglican priest, by chance at a choir rehearsal in Jamaica. She reflects on discovering she was dyslexic, navigating rejection, experiencing racism, struggling with motivation - and even failing an early audition for Bridgerton. Plus: why representation is so important. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Introduction 04:12 Impact of Representation and Public Recognition 08:39 Challenges with Dyslexia 21:15 Navigating Identity and Belonging 28:10 Professional Challenges and Identity 29:08 Casting and Industry Feedback 29:47 Facing Rejection and Overcoming Setbacks 30:32 Failed Auditions and Lessons Learned 31:45 Challenges of Racial Identity in Theatre 34:04 Progress in Representation and Diversity 35:35 Reflecting on Parental Influence 38:58 Navigating Personal and Professional Identity 40:36 Struggles with Exercise and Motivation 47:54 Final Thoughts and Legacy 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: ‘I’m not half anything. I’m a whole... I found who I want to be. ‘I don't see [dyslexia] as a failure because it was never told to me that it was a failure... It was, “you see the world differently”. This is really exciting.’ ‘Representation is important. We wanna see people who look like us, who we can relate to.’ 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Part one of Bridgerton season four premieres on 29th January on Netflix; part two begins streaming on 26th February Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 📚 WANT MORE? Gillian Anderson - on her failure to eat well or exercise and why she never wants to do what people tell her swap.fm/l/7NyZMzkfVOpGyDtlB6k0 Letitia Wright - on bullying, rejection, self-doubt, anxiety and depression. Plus how faith and friendship helped her turn those struggles into strength and purpose swap.fm/l/orHGF9VMU6s1FOH3bupc 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Golda answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fame isn’t always limousines, five star hotels, champagne and private jets. I find this topic totally fascinating and these two past How to Fail guests give us a glimpse behind the curtain as to what becoming famous at a young age really means. Shania Twain takes us back to her childhood, singing late nights in smoke-filled bars, growing up far too fast and without real control over her own life. She speaks movingly about the emotional cost of starting so young. Charlotte Church reflects on how early fame shaped - and at times restricted – her creative freedom, the doors that were closed to her by the industry and the advice she would give her younger self now. Listen to Shania’s full episode of How to Fail here: https://play.megaphone.fm/cgztqicuqzic6lu1d75lka Listen to Charlotte’s full episode of How to Fail here: swap.fm/l/RZeSUcGaFgix3SsYMaBp 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @howtofailpod @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod @elizabday Website: www.elizabethday.org Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Martin Freeman is one of the most sought-after actors of his generation. Whether it’s Tim in The Office, John - the mild-mannered porn actor in Love Actually, Watson in Sherlock, Bilbo in The Hobbit, the stressed parent in Breeders, the Liverpudlian cop with personal problems in The Responder and Everett K. Ross in Marvel Cinematic Universe smash hits Captain America and Black Panther - Freeman is a star, and to date has won two Emmys and a BAFTA. In this episode, Martin reflects on his childhood as the youngest of five (comparatively modest when you consider his mother was one of fourteen!) as well as the lasting impact of losing his father at ten years old. We talk about parenting, the people who’ve inspired him (hello, Michael Caine), the future of AI from a technophobe’s perspective, his unease with fame and the quieter failures that sit behind public success. Plus: strap yourself in for much hilarity. I don’t think I can remember a guest who made me laugh QUITE this much. Martin can next be seen as the determined Superintendent Battle in Netflix’s new Agatha Christie adaptation, Seven Dials. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Introduction 02:22 Dealing with Fame and Anxiety 05:12 The Everyman Label 07:35 Exploring Anger and Authenticity 16:28 Academic Struggles and Early Acting 20:33 Personal Reflections and Family 28:08 Comparing to Heroes 32:15 The Office and Sherlock 40:29 Technology Struggles 44:20 AI Concerns 47:47 Meeting Michael Caine 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: You should say no to your kids. You should let them know that life's gonna kick 'em in the ass... that is a manifestation of love for me. There is a great deal of value in making a child bored... How else are you going to paint, or make up a story or learn a trade or learn a skill if you are literally mouth agape looking at a f***ing screen? The people who say it [success] doesn't solve your problems are obviously right... But love is a good start to it - it does more than anything else. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Seven Dials is available to watch now on Netflix. Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 📚 WANT MORE? Stephen Merchant - on feeling like an outsider, learning to live with rejection and being banned from High And Mighty. swap.fm/l/Lta5mlFbVnPHyFb8R1n2 Adeel Akhtar - the actor’s actor on the humbling impact of parenthood, cultural expectations and learning to let go of ego in order to grow swap.fm/l/eWxKBXUJZAAkfovquzwi 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Martin answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices