I don't trust 'em: Lionel Messi saves the day, the Aussies have a chance, and France advance

Shhh of course we knew that yellow cards don’t carry over to a penalty shootout! In Emi Martinez we trust. Marcus, Luke, Andy and Pete catch up after last night’s European frolickings and then realise that the FA Cup has crept up on us. Alejandro Garnacho shows digital contrition ahead of Man United’s semi-final against Coventry City, Paul Scholes gets his old chap out, and players injure themselves trying to avoid a club crest but show a #touchofclass. Plus, Portsmouth players swearing a lot on radio, Luke shares a message for the cowardly Vithushan Ehantharajah and Pete tells everyone how to use a knife and fork.  Sign up to our brand new mailing list, The Team Sheet, right here! Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com. Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: patreon.com/footballramble. ***Please take the time to rate us on Spotify. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How about them plucky underdogs Real Madrid, eh? Marcus and Vish are on hand to react to a disastrous evening in Europe for the English sides. On a night which saw Erling Haaland subbed before extra time, Vish asks whether Man City had too many cooks and no one to eat the pudding. In Munich, Arsenal also appeared to be lacking an appetite as they failed to trouble Bayern. We wonder where Arsenal go from here to ensure they can get the results when it really counts. Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com. Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: patreon.com/footballramble. ***Please take the time to rate us on Spotify. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Barcelona may have lost the tie last night, but have they won the war to become the Champions League’s next banter club? Today, Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish are here to review a night of Champos action that at times resembled a drunken brawl - and they bloody enjoyed it! You know what they also bloody enjoyed? Portsmouth returning to the Championship! And they created the perfect conditions for a pitch invasion... Plus, Andy compares Mauricio Pochettino to Tim Sherwood, Jim starts an unexpected campaign to unite the people of London, and the lads outline the ONLY circumstance in which Arsenal will want to hear Bayern Munich play the Can-can this evening. Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com. Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: patreon.com/footballramble. ***Please take the time to rate us on Spotify. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What’s that noise? Is that the sound of Euro-trash floating from Lineker’s Bar? That’s right, Pete thinks it’s official: Jack Grealish is already planing his post-title win sesh. Marcus, Jim and Pete react to a huge weekend at the top of the Premier League as both Liverpool and Arsenal promptly put their special carton of Premier League celebration milk back into the freezer (more on that at the end of the show). Plus, has Thierry Henry started shrinking yet? Has someone in the Brentford area named their baby after Marcus Speller? And what happens when you bring a bottle of water to a whip fight? Just ask Al-Ittihad striker Abderrazak Hamdallah. Come join us! Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com. Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: patreon.com/footballramble. ***Please take the time to rate us on Spotify. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Marcus, Andy and Pete text an anonymous burner phone and get a fresh batch of listener questions delivered to the studio - and there are some crackers! We wonder if a Premier League game could - and should - be played overseas after FIFA’s change of tune this week. Also, should professional fouls be dealt with more harshly? And which animal would cause maximum chaos if released onto a football pitch? Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com. Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: patreon.com/footballramble. ***Please take the time to rate us on Spotify. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.