David Robson - The Expectation Effect

Ian Leslie joins James Smith to unpack the uncomfortable truth about honesty: we can't actually handle it. A bestselling author and host of the Where Shall We Meet podcast, Ian argues that lying isn't a bug in human nature but an evolutionary feature — the very thing responsible for our big brains, our creativity, and our capacity for art. 👁️ Try Neutonic: https://www.neutonic.com/jamessmith 🧪 Check your Test: https://www.manual.co/smith 📝 Business Mentoring: https://www.jamessmith.business 🏋🏼‍♂️ Online Coaching: https://www.jamessmithacademy.com Ian Leslie On Substack – https://ianleslie.substack.com/ The Ruffian Podcast by Ian Leslie - https://open.spotify.com/show/4Qm30smGRQjhEPUMq49uU8 James opens up about being honest with his employees, hiring a brutally candid editor for his next book, and how a rugby coach telling him he "played like shit" taught him more than any polite feedback ever could. He explains: ◼️ Why lying is a sign of intelligence, creativity and empathy in children ◼️ How the online world breeds dishonesty ◼️ Why office politics is passive aggression at scale ◼️ How trust is the prerequisite for any productive disagreement ◼️ Why sport is civilisation's greatest cage for our warrior instincts Chapters: 00:00 Why Lying Is Hardwired Into Our Intelligence 01:22 The Problem With Honesty Is We Can't Handle It 03:14 The Invention of Lying and Useful Deception 06:12 Why Lying Sits in Our Moral Grey Zone 08:37 When Your Child Should Start Lying to You 10:48 Autism, Theory of Mind and Honesty 12:01 Conformity as a Form of Social Lying 14:30 Self-Deception and the Lizard Brain 15:59 Cults, Ideologies and Online Group Lies 19:37 Interrogation Tricks and Cognitive Load 22:05 Telling Stories Backwards to Catch Liars 22:46 The Jiu-Jitsu Ringworm Test 25:18 Artists as Legitimised Liars 26:24 Bob Dylan's Reinvention and the Line Between Lying and Art 27:18 Embellishment, Storytelling and Social Incentives 28:50 Advertising as a Lie We Collude In 30:08 Dating Dynamics and Honesty With Women 32:29 Why Honesty Is Your Best Bet in the Long Run 34:09 The Woman Who Lied About Her Age 36:04 Botox, Makeup and Physical Deception 38:13 Height, Ethnicity and the Online Dating Filter 41:13 How Digital Breaks Humans Into Packets 41:56 Why Workplaces Are Full of Bullshit 44:14 Office Politics as Passive Aggression at Scale 45:06 James Getting Dropped From His Rugby Team 47:22 Hiring a Brutally Honest Editor 48:40 Trust as the Prerequisite for Honesty 50:00 The Two Channels of Every Difficult Conversation 52:19 Jiu-Jitsu, Conflict Resolution and Primal Urges 55:06 Sport as Civilisation's Substitute for War 57:37 Michael Jordan as a Roman Warrior 57:58 John Jones and the Beautiful Cage of MMA 58:24 The Ashes, the Barmy Army and Sportsmanship 01:00:24 The Gilded Cage of Rules and Norms 01:01:13 Zero-Sum Games and Honest Feedback 01:03:09 Why Participation Medals Miss the Point 01:05:16 Giving Brutal Feedback on Content 01:07:16 Have You Earned the Right to Be Honest? 01:08:26 Ian's Book: John and Paul — A Love Story in Songs 01:11:22 The Creative Power of Love This conversation takes a candid look at why deception is woven into the fabric of human intelligence, the corrosive cost of workplaces where nobody says what they think, and the trust that has to exist before honesty can actually land. Ian's perspective on disagreement, creativity and the relationship channel beneath every argument offers a sharp counterpoint to James's trademark bluntness — and the result is a conversation that will change how you think about every hard conversation you've ever avoided. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

James Haskell joins James Smith for a brutally honest conversation about life after professional sport, the chaos of building multiple businesses, and what it actually takes to stay relevant when the game is over. A former England rugby star, Sunday Times bestselling author, and DJ, Haskell pulls no punches on the mental cost of reinvention — and why his obsession with performing has never really left him. 👁️ Try Neutonic: https://www.neutonic.com/jamessmith 🧪 Check your Test: https://www.manual.co/smith 📝 Business Mentoring: https://www.jamessmith.business 🏋🏼‍♂️ Online Coaching: https://www.jamessmithacademy.com James Haskell on Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/jameshaskell James Haskell's music – https://open.spotify.com/artist/5ry5gHsT7l1X84yGPZeVIj The Good, The Bad & The Rugby – https://open.spotify.com/show/1LJJ9KUF4aAjcSPimyKfp3 James opens up about the fear of failure that drove him through rugby, the strange emptiness that follows success, and why 40 felt like the moment everything had to change. From DJing in a music industry that doesn't return emails, to launching Black Eye Gin with a £1.50-per-bottle charity model, to finally getting his testosterone tested — this one covers ground most people won't. He covers: ◼️ Why being your own business is feast or famine — and how to future-proof it ◼️ The DJ career no one takes seriously (yet) ◼️ Building undeniable proof against self-doubt ◼️ Why catastrophising your future can be a legitimate motivational tool ◼️ What testosterone at level 3 actually feels like — and what TRT changed ◼️ The email list gap that's costing him (and you) real money Chapters: 00:00 There Are a Lot of Lost Men Out There 01:23 The Problem With Being Your Own Business 03:22 Life After Rugby — Planning vs Panic 05:05 Finding What You Actually Want to Do 05:30 The DJ Career: 12 Years, 31 Records 07:22 MMA, Surgeries and the Body Paying the Price 09:24 Going Back to Basics in 2026 10:18 Why Haskell Got Into DJing 12:01 Building Undeniable Proof Against Self-Doubt 13:31 Imposter Syndrome, Evidence Bases and Therapy at 17 15:35 Creating Common Enemies as Motivation 18:06 Catastrophising as a Motivational Mechanism 18:44 Defining What Success Actually Looks Like 19:21 Why Very Wealthy Men Lose Their Money 20:01 The Rocky Montage Years: Fear of Failure as Fuel 20:52 Learning to Sit In the Moment 22:00 The Music Industry Is a Wild West Shambles 24:50 The 50 Cent Tour Story — Music vs Every Other Business 27:03 Drug Culture, Harm Reduction and the Honest Conversation 30:49 What He'd Tell His Daughter About Drugs 32:02 Social Media, Innocence and Raising Kids Today 33:39 Does Civilisation Correct Itself? 35:40 On Politics, Reform and Weak Leaders 37:13 Hair Transplants, Prince William and Shaving Your Head 39:14 The James Haskell Effect on Rugby Back Rows 41:47 Henry Pollock, Pranks and the England Camp 44:03 The Witch Teeth Prank at the Dentist 45:24 The 2007 World Cup — and Ronny Ring's Band of Brothers Moment 49:01 Maidenhead RFC, Getting Dropped and a Mate's Game of His Life 53:41 Black Eye Gin — The Charity, the Recipe and the Origin 57:06 Rugby, UFC and Sports That Don't Apologise for Themselves 59:55 Trying Neutonic for the First Time 01:01:05 Building an Event That Combines Sport, Music and Fitness 01:07:19 Peptides, BPC-157 and Healing a Torn Bicep 01:09:05 Testosterone at Level 3 — Getting on TRT 01:20:32 The Relevancy Trap and Running Active Businesses 01:22:38 The Infinity Pool Story — Getting the Balance Right 01:26:36 Why Haskell Doesn't Have an Email List (Yet) 01:27:46 The Email Marketing Masterclass He Didn't Ask For 01:37:57 What's Coming Next: Music, DJ Gigs and the Tequila Launch This is one of those conversations that goes everywhere — rugby war stories, music industry chaos, drug policy, fatherhood, hormones, hair transplants, and the uncomfortable truth that being very good at performing doesn't automatically make you good at business. Haskell is funnier, more self-aware, and more switched-on than most people give him credit for — and this is the version of him you don't usually get to see. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr Julie Smith joins James Smith for a wide-ranging conversation on the psychology of emotion, mental health, and what it really means to feel better. A clinical psychologist and international bestselling author, Dr Smith dismantles the idea that difficult emotions are problems to be solved and challenges James on everything from catastrophising and shame-based motivation to the surprising emotional cost of success. 👁️ Try Neutonic: https://www.neutonic.com/jamessmith 🧪 Check your Test: https://www.manual.co/smith 📝 Business Mentoring: https://www.jamessmith.business 🏋🏼‍♂️ Online Coaching: https://www.jamessmithacademy.com Dr Julie Smith's YouTube Channel – https://www.youtube.com/@DrJulie Dr Julie Smith On Instagram –https://www.instagram.com/drjulie/ James opens up about his experience of lockdown, being cut off from Australia, the relief (not happiness) of hitting major milestones, and why he uses financial goals as a psychological permission slip to keep overworking. She explains: ◼️ Why wanting to feel better is sometimes part of the problem ◼️ How to recognise when distress is situational vs something deeper ◼️ The double standard we apply to ourselves vs others ◼️ Why self-compassion isn't weakness (it's the harder skill) ◼️ What status loss does to mental health and identity Chapters: 00:00 The Problem With Trying to Feel Better 04:20 When Anxiety Means You're a Good Parent 07:23 Is Low Mood Situational or Something Deeper? 12:10 When Should You Actually Get Therapy? 13:52 James Being Locked Out of Australia 15:36 Not Feeling Like You Qualify for Help 17:34 The Workaholics Trap and Honest Feedback 18:45 Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy — Where Does Dr Smith Stand? 20:23 James's LSD Day in the Park 21:49 The Periodic Table of Emotions 27:12 Vulnerability, Fatherhood and Opening Up 29:08 Redefining Success Beyond the Metrics 32:26 Giving Good Advice You Don't Take Yourself 34:49 Severance and the Work-Life Split 38:07 The Hidden Cost of Living a Very Public Life 41:24 When Followers Tell You You've Saved Their Life 44:28 How a Relationship Changed James's Relationship With Work 45:13 Status, Mental Health and the Fear of Losing It 53:01 The Double Standard We Have for Ourselves 55:42 Using Financial Goals as a Coping Mechanism 57:28 Catastrophising as Motivation 01:00:04 Why Every Goal Feels Empty After You Hit It 01:02:51 Fear of Success vs Fear of Failure 01:08:30 The Journey Is the Point — Not Just the Outcome 01:09:18 Sneak Peek: Dr Smith's New Book 01:10:21 Generational Amnesia and the Young People of Today 01:15:08 Closing Takeaways: What Actually Helps This conversation takes a candid look at the psychology behind overwork, the emotional emptiness that can follow achievement, and the courage required to actually let people in. Dr Smith's clinical perspective on self-compassion, attachment, and the standards we hold ourselves to offers a grounding counterweight to James's trademark candour — and the result is one of the most honest conversations on mental health the podcast has produced. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Connor Beaton joins James Smith to reveal the uncomfortable truth about self-sabotage. Far from being a simple lack of discipline, self-sabotage is a sophisticated survival strategy your brain uses to maintain control. Beaton explains why your psyche would rather choose a familiar disaster over an unfamiliar victory, keeping you locked in a cycle of destructive behavior to protect a fragile sense of identity. 👁️ Try Neutonic: https://www.neutonic.com/jamessmith 🧪 Check your Test: https://www.manual.co/smith 📝 Business Mentoring: https://www.jamessmith.business 🏋🏼‍♂️ Online Coaching: https://www.jamessmithacademy.com They dismantle the myth that dark motivation is a sustainable fuel for success and expose the biological cost of running on shame. From adoption trauma and attachment theory to the high-stakes world of elite performance, this conversation uncovers the invisible weights that stop men from being present in their own lives. He explains: ◼️ Why your brain actively avoids healthy new habits ◼️ How shame-based fuel creates a performance ceiling ◼️ What happens when achievement replaces human connection ◼️ Why mastery and addiction share the same neurology ◼️ How radical transparency prevents relationship resentment Chapters: 00:00 The Psychology of Working With Men 03:37 The Real Problem With Self-Sabotage 04:11 Sabotage as a Protective Strategy 05:37 James’ Experience With Wild Weekends 07:15 Reinforcing Your Negative Identity 08:06 Carl Jung and The Shadow 09:11 Why Your Brain Prefers Familiarity 11:16 The John Jones Sabotage Pattern 12:46 Relational Trauma and Attachment Issues 13:45 Breaking Your Nervous System Set Point 16:02 George St-Pierre on Real Courage 17:51 James' Battle With Cognitive Dissonance 19:52 The Truth About Cocaine Habits 23:00 High Performers and The Control Trap 24:18 Dark Motivation: Using Shame as Fuel 26:42 Why Success Often Feels Empty 27:23 James’ Story of Adoption and Spite 30:35 Shifting From Spite to Family 32:48 Dating Volume and Almond Croissants 35:43 Healing Trauma Through Your Children 43:43 Rebuilding Trust and True Intimacy 47:14 Addiction as an Attachment Issue 49:33 Mastery vs The Addictive Tendency 53:07 Learning to Let Go of Control 57:17 The Dangers of Mental Masturbation 59:12 Diminished Versions of Yourself 01:02:14 Learning to Choose Your Regrets 01:04:02 The Psychological Fear of Retirement 01:08:40 The Cost of Professional Relevancy 01:12:19 Communicating Trade-offs in Relationships 01:15:51 Modern Dating’s Silent Plague 01:17:46 Re-infusing Choice into Relationships 01:21:53 Navigating the Psychological Map Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

👁️ Try Neutonic: https://www.neutonic.com/jamessmith 🧪 Check your Test: https://www.manual.co/smith 📝 Business Mentoring: https://www.jamessmith.business 🏋🏼‍♂️ Online Coaching: https://www.jamessmithacademy.com Follow Staz on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stazthrudark/ Check out Thrudark: https://www.thrudark.com/ Check out Thrudark on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ThruDark Anthony "Staz" Stasziker, a former special forces officer, shares essential life advice on the importance of hard work, discipline, and the problem with living a comfortable life. Staz highlights that true success, much like military training in special ops, is not easily achieved but requires dedication. It's about putting in the effort, not just romanticizing the idea. Chapters 00:00 - Why Comfort Is Making Us Weak 01:33 - The Friction We Desperately Need 06:34 - How Jiu-Jitsu Changed Everything 08:12 - Leaving Special Forces With Nothing 12:14 - The Hidden Force Controlling Your Life 19:28 - Are We Raising a Generation of Losers? 25:02 - From Failed Footballer to Elite Sniper 31:34 - What They Don't Tell You About Special Forces 41:53 - The Future of War Is Terrifying 51:59 - The Real Reason Men Are Falling Apart 56:04 - The Trauma Nobody Talks About 01:00:57 - The Drug Curing PTSD Overnight 01:06:34 - Why He Climbed Everest in 7 Days 01:22:19 - Buried Alive on the World's Highest Mountain 01:43:38 - What He Learned at 29,000 Feet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices